1. kanfood

   interesting…I agree with your response. Take our friend Sam Deck and Pam as examples, they wanted to be missionaries since they were in high school, but it wasn’t until years later, after years of preparation and prayer that they officially ‘became’ missionaries.

   Jul 10th, 2007

2. sc_q_jayce

   I think indeed often youth pastors/speakers tend to play on emotions of people and don’t teach them to live out their faith in a day-by-day basis. However, his response to the father was even worse and an extremely poor example of how to respond.

   Jul 10th, 2007

3. tareshannon

   very interesting.

   i agree with you in that he has understimated the Holy Spirit.  But I also think as Americans, we tend to be overly fixated on our decisions and commitments as individuals.  I think the father does have a right to be angry and youth workers are getting carried away.  Commitments to become lifelong servants for God should be made… stepping out of comfort zones to follow God’s call should be encouraged… evangelism and discipleship should be challenged…. but I can see how a father might feel hijacked if their 15 yr old son were making commitments to be missionaries in Africa.  Commitments shouldn’t be taken lightly and honestly our families should be more involved in our decision making. 

   anyway, very thought provoking.

   Jul 10th, 2007

4. pwrchords

   i wonder if this father would be just as upset if his son committed to taking up his cross and following Christ daily - this statement to me is far more dangerous and costly if taken seriously.

   Jul 10th, 2007

5. im4GMG

   I agree with Candy. I like your response, though, as it brings up some good points that both the post-er and the father of that kid ought to consider–especially as it relates to the role of the Holy Spirit and the gravity of commitments to God.

   Somehow I end up feeling the truth is somewhere between his post and your response. It is true that speakers often play on people’s emotions. I greatly dislike it when speakers play on people’s emotions and do not appeal to their intellect, because decisions made in events like that do not often result in life change–just increase in guilt–and because it results in a masking of God’s own work. I say we should communicate our own passions for God and his truth, and let the Spirit convict the hearts of men. When I preach and teach I do it with all passion and fervor because I love the text and the Author. When I give an altar call at the end, I do it with all clarity and intention, because I respect the audience. We must preach the whole counsel of God and make disciples… not converts who have not counted the cost.

   I feel too many preachers, not knowing the power of the Gospel nor the Word of God for themselves–perhaps even having been themeselves moved into conversion or ministry solely by emotional appeals–make appeal to people’s emotions alone. Perhaps they do this because they don’t really believe that God’s Word will produce what fruit needs to be produced? Perhaps because that fruit takes time to produce and they want a large crowd at the front to conclude the meeting or retreat? God deliver us from performance and into the transforming power of his Word and Spirit. PREACH THE WORD .

   Jul 10th, 2007

6. searchingfortreasures

   Hi Daniel.  When I first read the entry earlier today I was MAD actually.  I couldn’t believe thecuttingtruth’s response to the father - that he would belittle youths’ decisions and commitments.  I am glad he was not my youthworker/mentor/advisor.  I was a youth who made life-changing, life-long decisions - for one, turning my life over to Jesus.  I have not gone back on it.  When I was a youth worker, I always believed that God could lead those youth to make commitments to the Lord and keep them.  Otherwise, I would have been a very lame youth advisor.

   I was also mad at the father.  I know parents feel like they have rights over their children, but the reality is that parents only have children on loan from God.  Their kids belong to God, so what their kids choose to do with their lives is between the kid and their God.  Perhaps the father was angry at the way his son communicated with him about the commitment he made (teens often lack discernment on presentation) and that is why the father felt robbed…in that, I think he might be justified, but the bottom line is that I really think the father needs to let go.  

   I am less angry now and have read everything over again.  I liked what you wrote.  And I think that is another reason why the father had no reason to be so upset.  The ‘commitment’ his son made would be affirmed or not affirmed over time through prayer and many discussions… and his son will also be refined and prepared over the course of years.  I speculate that the father was most likely soo upset because he had his own agenda for his son (typical Asian American Dream) which did NOT include the mission field, and THAT is why he was so angry…

   Jul 10th, 2007

7. kanfood

   yeah…I know…I wonder if the father would be equally angry if the son committed himself to be a doctor without consulting with his father. Somehow I don’t think the father would be angry in that case. I doubt that the father is angry solely because he felt robbed of his fatherhood, but even so, he has no right to be angry because his son belongs to God.

   Jul 10th, 2007

8. justwatching

   yes i like what Candy and Mary Ann wrote. one thing i want to add is that i think that while most youth advisors/organizers are not trying to manipulate youth, I think that most probably are not prepared to help/support youth when making major life changing decisions… esp. the one Candy cited. The parent emotionally may be more willing to do that (not in all cases), while the youth advisor is probably the one who is more open to allowing God to do whatever he likes with the teen. Many youth advisors make the mistake of presenting the message and motivating the youth, but not discipling, and as you call it “praying and having discussions.” Parents want to give input and time, but don’t always want what God wants for the teen.

   Jul 10th, 2007

9. allclear

   i stood up many times to dedicate my life to full time service, even service overseas. i meant it then and kept moving towards it. this post made me think about my parents’ side of things and helped me understand some of their (to me strange) reaction to my decisions & dedication (the comment abt kids not taking out the trash consistently) that seemed so contrary to their desires & own commitment to God.

   i have been thinking a lot lately about the emotional “manipulation” of Christian situations, the music, the heartfelt pleas, etc. and i think a lot of kids or whoever do make flippant, emotionally driven “stands”. but i also think there are some that take things VERY SERIOUSLY that the Lord really speaks to and that are scared to death when they stand, but continue to seek & follow ’til they find themselves on the other side of the world living out God’s dreams.

   Jul 11th, 2007

10. J_Pole

    I also agree that the Church as a whole fails to teach teens to have a balanced faith and committed spiritual life. However, I do agree with jayce, the response to the father was very disheartening. To say that it’s no big deal, and don’t worry, no one takes it seriously, just trivializes the problem. All it does is allow the mistake to go without being addressed. The organization isn’t held responsible, and the child isn’t learning what true balance and commitment means. So, really, the child is receiving disservice from both sides; who is going to teach him what is right?

    Jul 11th, 2007

11. KingdomSheepDog

    I gave a worldview talk to a Chinese church a month ago.  I gave them a list of questions to check their true worldview.  One of the questions included was:

    Do you find yourself encouraging your children to be a medical doctor, lawyer, or engineer more than a full-time minister of the Gospel?

    Of course there is nothing wrong to be a medical doctor, lawyer or engineer if those are indeed the callings for the children involved.  However, we parents need to examine our motives why we prefer those vocations for our children. 

    As a parent, I wish I can go to Africa someday.  I am still praying. Maybe I need to go to the youth retreat in Florida and be manipulated. : )

    Jul 11th, 2007

12. kuangkai

    you should post all these comments on thecuttingtruth, daniel.  i can understand the father’s reaction, but i do agree, he should trust himself and his son’s upbringing enough to be able to let go and not be *as* angry.  easy for me to say, of course, i’m not in his shoes.  who is thecuttingtruth?  someone that the father trusts and confides in obviously.  is he a youth pastor?  i hope not, because he should teach how serious commitment is.   

    Jul 11th, 2007

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